Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
its not stalking. its research.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
