You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
