Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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