so that wasnt chicken after all
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize