I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
