Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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