last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
