problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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