R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
