Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
