it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
