He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
