I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
