we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
