Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
