i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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