I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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