Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
