Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
