I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
where are my eyebrows?
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