Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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