im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
