too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Is Oprah even human
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
