I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
