turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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