I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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