**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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