Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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