awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize