I must be too annoying 4 u.
brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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