The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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