i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
