Need sex. Gaining weight.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
She bit a glass in half.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize