barbara walters just said penis...
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
