where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
