even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
