I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
