Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
