There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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