something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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