I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
