Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I have so many feelings about this burrito
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
