i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize