Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
