Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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