So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
