i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
