Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
