I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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