Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
