Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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