Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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