i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize