dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
