sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
farters have to be the big spoon...
we made out on top of his cat.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
