you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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