Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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