Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Randomize
