is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
