meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Just pee around me
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
