Well apparently he's into motor boating.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
