whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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