You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
