i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
