Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
