Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
