no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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