I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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