so let's talk penis.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize